Today school started. We have a dress code, one of them being we have to wear black shoes, the somewhat dressy kind. Well I bought some, and well.... I have to park a few blocks or so away in order to not have to pay for parking..... those blocks we damn painful.... I can't forget the blood that shed then :P
Well seriously it was very painful and there was a lot of blood on my heals. Fun start right? Then, we have a huge duffel bag and big box of stuff to carry back? crap no....... the horror.......... awwwwwww


Last weak... me and hirokazu went skiing. It was the best experience man. Seriously it's a fun sport I think :) well plus hirokazu is a good teacher <3

When somebody is able to tell you that they truely believe in you, that they believe you are capable of reaching the highest mountain.... damn, that feels overwhelmingly good for once : \

I want to be there, but why does it have to take so long.... V_V;;; oh well.... がんばれ！！！ Sad I say that to myself.

MmBのきもちはときどきワィド。
Sometimes these days... I feel like I really want to see myself wear that white coat and hat... V_V; I am somewhat excited for the future to come, although I don't to age anymore you know... :P

also... it's weird... but I have been getting this weird urge to take some art classes V_V;;;;

I want to be able to become a better person. It's interesting I say "able to". Why can't I just become a "better person"? What is a better person? How can we strive to become a better person when so many things in our culture, our society, "lower" the standards on becoming this "better person"? In a sense, I guess you can say, I am want to aim at becoming a person that I feel is most ideal as a person for myself. How do we strive toward this? Does being a girl of a so called middle class family in america decrease my chance in improving my "ideal" self? Probably the best way to become the person I want to be most, is to gain more knowledge. I think many people take knowledge forgranted. Knowledge is probably the most powerful thing a person can have. How they use it, is up to them.

It's a great struggle to become something more, when people of 'lower' knowledge, assume you are trying to make fools of them. In reality, 'we' just want them to think more. Don't just always stand there taking orders or listening and assuming everything a person, a book, or other types of media are right. Make the clear judge for yourself, do some research while keeping an open mind. Then maybe you can decide if what you hear, see, ect, is really what it is. If you are different than others, don't always feel you are in the wrong, society makes us believe we are suppose to be one way or another, to for a 'norm'. We should try our best to explore and learn, then, we could possibly become a better person.

:Everything I said was probably pretty vague, actually it was, but I wanted to write a little something about a little thought that was rolling around in my head:

I have been listening to older music these days... and.... I just noticed that there are only a few words said in "The Hustle" song.... 1. Do the hustle 2. do it . . . . lol that's it. But it took me this long to actually listen to the "do it" part... lol so... point being... it just sounds kind of funny
"do it........ do it!..... do the hustle!" lol..... I guess I am laughing with myself :P

... I can say... I am a bit excited and nervous for wed hehe.

I HATE MYSELF
Are you interested with such a beautiful person?
With a look, can one join with them?
If you cannot light up your face, don't make an ugly look.

I wanna touch you again, with a touch, one can seem to live,
I wanna kill me again, know that it connects to you.

Day old mouse corpse resembles you,
Only I see it is beautiful in such a world.
I take it, and take it to a safe haven.

I wanna touch you again, when annoyed you seem to live.
I wanna kill me again, know that it connects to you.

Are you interested in such a beautiful person?
With a look, can one join with them?
When this moment dissolves like the sun, murder me.


Pool
Sandy, how long have you been dreaming in this water?
Sandy, why do you have such lonely eyes?
Sandy, I have haunting memories in the pool close to a church.
Sandy, people laugh "she would have been better if never born".
You are the beautiful one, always only a bath, you are that alone, you are as fragile as glass.

Sandy, since when is it possible to breathe in this water?
Sandy, forgetting drains dry, she laughs.
You are the beautiful one, always only a bath, you are that alone, you are as fragile as glass.

Okay so the other night I went to countdown live..... which was so fricking awesome that I can:t even explain all the details... I just know I got to see my favorite band and it was definately an experience I can never forget.... I had not even realized they were so popular that if you are in the front you would get squeezed to death and can barely breath lol....
Tonight for new years I went to this local rock band joint and well it was freakin awesome as well... everybody is doing the hxc emo dance... I guess only amy would know what I mean maybe lol. It was so fun though... I even was able to meet people who actually speak english hehe, but everybody is always so much older than I am lol.... wth..
I am waiting for the trains to run again... I have likme 2.5 or so hrs till they do. I am loving every minute of japan though. It is definately a very special place.

BTW.... Happy new years, I hope everybody is having fun ;)

Today is so awkward. In japan, people don`t celebrate xmas the same way they do in america. Here it is all about being with their lovers. Sooooooooooo many lovers everywhere!!! Omg drive me crazy hahaha. I want to trip them hahaha j/k. . . but I know all the... love hotels must be so full ne? haha. I went to china town today. It is probably the cleanest china town I have seen (america/canada and even china in self lol). Na-chan and I got our palms read. The lady was kinda happy because it was the first time she got to read an "american`s" palm.... so na-chan translated everything. Some highlights are that she said I could never be the type to be a housewife and stay home, and that I will have 2 chances to marry, one when I am 26, and another when I am 30, but to pick the second one because it will be good somehow... She also said I would not be living in my area, much further away. hmmm kinda fun to hear fortunes even if I don`t really believe them. I knew I would be around 30 when I finally marry... lol She also said that in my past life I was not able to do much, for example, my family chose the person I married and whatnot... .so thta is why I am always trying to do things I have never done. Also, she said that I really like to travel and want to be able to travel a lot, so I like to spend my money most for that >_<; hmmm there were others but can:t think too much now....
Tomorrow I will visit kaori again. Her baby is so cute, but I can`t help but feel sorry for her everytime... because she has nobody to help take care of her and she looks so tired... I can`t even hang out with her the same, it was slightly awkward... but I tried my best to help her because I want her to relax, becuase I know being a mommy is so hard >_<, I wish she can take a break, and I know she can soon, I also know I should understand that this IS what she wants, but she says she does wish she can have a break sometimes! hehe.....
Everyday I have been so busy... I went to a few hip hop clubs this weekend one in yokohama and another in tokyo. It is pretty cool to see the local people doing their live shows, and everybody is so nice. I really want to see rock shows more... but I know summer is even more for that... thank god thursday I get to see one of my fave bands... hopefully they will sing more than 2 songs..... I will see as many of their concerts as possible next time!!!!
We have met so many people it is kind of crazy.... I have already thought how I will miss japan lol.
Merry xmas to everybody and a happy new year!!!
Especially to friends and most of all family. Let this be a new year of wonderful memories.

Today was a lonely girls day, but tomorrow will be back to normal fun hehe.

Today is my first day... well make that night, in japan.
The plane right was actually quite good, besides the fact that we had to wait in new jersey for 3hrs. But after the plane arrived in tokyo, we had to take a train for 1.5hrs to yokohama, which is where I will be staying most of the time.
So tired and excited at the same time. I want to get as much sleep as possible tonight and tomorrow, because we are going to have so much fun ;) I cant wait to make these memories hehe. I have to go because natsuki:s mom is cooking food! Yatta!

http://home.f01.itscom.net/spiral/research.html

Kind of interesting I think. Mmm I guess that is why japan can make so many 'horror'/'scary' movies/stories.
Even though I can now read the hiragana.. it sure doesn't help me since I can't undestand it and the kanjiiiii.

Small share for those that don't have it yet: In the Direction of Sunrise and Night Light

The album is so great :)
Fave song of the moment - additional cause for sorrow, damn mako has a great voice.
Please support them by buying the real thing ^_~
cdjapan
amazon jp

x-posted freaks_showcase

*coughs*
man i have been sick with a cold since like the day before we left for back here T_T; and lu gave it to me....actually i was a *coughs*retard and thought i could still sleep with him because i could never get a cold! ya right. -_-; man omg i cried when i left his family i_i; i will miss his inner family anyways i..*coughs*...m home and so hot and gonna take a shower -_-;*coughs*
btw i got a new phone so umm i'll try to remember to give it to ppl
anyways i wonder how ppl are doing. im anxious to hang out or....something, sighs i have so much to do, still need to unpack. bbye

just got back from shanghai a few hrs ago. we went by train then walked forever, then took the subway which still took forever then taxis and sighs, so freakin tired! we went on a 1day tour -_-; i mean it was awesome but so tired with the AWEFUL heat -_-; omg so hot, i couldnt even enjoy it to its full potential. only when we are indoors shopping ^^;

well anyways thats all i will be able to right for now because i am SO HOT :*( even right after taking a shower i am so sweaty in this room, need to get back into the AC.
i tried to scan some LJ's and i think i wont be able to catch andy's graduation! sorry andy but HAPPY GRADUATION! i know its really one of the greatest moments ^.^ when you are handed that diploma ;)

sighs so achy....
anyways will be coming home soon

weeelll man been so busy lately like site seeing -_-; so so so tired 'lailai' o_O; right? haha i forget but i guess i know like 1 or 2 words more than before, but lu's family only talks hangzhounese -_-; so anyways today we went to this far off secluded type area .... -_-; i mean this tiny town...or village we went through looked so poor and dirty, and there were these huge trunks carrying rocks back and forth -_-; but anyways passing that place just a little bit we went to this cave place. it was pretty cool. we went with his chen family, well just the main members. there was SOOO much climbing up and down and walking for like miles -_-; and i got so scared when i had to go up soooo high and down from soooo high >_<; i hate my phobia T_T' but man his family was so hyper lol it was funny.....everybody was making fun of me because even lu's 85-6 yr old nainai (right?) was not even a tiny bit afraid of heights -_-.....OHHHH and EWWWWW i finally used my first nasty squatting toilet...ok i used a couple already but they were like really nice ones in hotels or resturants but omg this one was SOOOOOOO aweful, and i would have rather gone outside if it wasnt for the ppl and mosquito's T_T omg it was so bad :( and you know what else i notice? like umm nobody knows how to flush...i mean most ppl do NOT know how, COME ON T_T; sighs but that toilet....it was just a whole....a dark whole....and if i could have held it i would have but sighs -_-; see for that part guys are way luckier T_T........anyways (shivers) after that experience we went to his aunts who lived on the top of the 15ths story building....and lu was retarded enough to try to race the elevator up from the stairs...yeah benden...(no?) lol i am trying to remember some chinese -_-; yeah yeah well we played some cards (shuongko) so it was me and lu againsts his dad and wife....me and lu did super good for the few games but of course we cant win forever...
we went to dinner -_-;....and sighs man somehow i was feeling so overly emotional when they brought out the lobster....yeah it was still alive and its backend was ripped apart, and everybody was eating it, while the front part of him was moving around sadly V_V' it was so sad -_-; i know its just a big insect but g's......anyways me and lu just got back from the grocery, eating sunflower seeds...so gonna go i_i; i hope i actually get to go shopping tomorrow with little ayi (well i want to say AH-i but whatever lu says)
well i still would rather learn japanese rather than mandarin, and if i seriously had to learn chinese i would rather learn hangzhounese, not too much point in the others...
oh yeah.....lu's dad invited my daddy to come next time.....tight...
lu's family is awesome, i will be so happy to become a chen ^o^ :)<3<3:)
p.s. there are SOOOOO many wedding going on here, like 3 or so everyday since i have been here O_o....taking pictures, having dinners/receptions, fireworkds....-_-; "love is in the air", well actually this is just the wedding season

well of course im in china now. its 7.40am now...and lu's aunt (stepmommy) woke us up...well actually i was already starting to wake up, i seem to wake up so early now and go to sleep super early! (like 10pm or something) omg so tired because we walk around so much and stuff....ummmm for now i will say the plane ride here wasnt too bad....but the sleeping in the plane SUCKS T^T.....never again....well of course i had to.....we stopped in narita airport which i think is in tokyo, but we were 1hr delayed so we didnt get to do anything....well gtg now, going to do a lot today, and i dont have as much energy as 90% of the ppl here o_O; hahaha and i havent got sick yet to ppl's suprise...but now i probably jinxed myself -_-;
bbye all!
ps. i wish i was so rich to buy so much stuff! but since i dont know how to really haggle here me and lu always need his aunts there *>_<* but its fun muahaha
okay bbye

[edit!]
well its 8.14pm saturday nite and me and lu are at the internet cafe right now ^^; we just had hotpot with some of his family....so full omg, they keep telling me to eat and eat and eat and..yeah eat..cant take it anymore, because i am trying to be so polite...
well lets see, wed here, me and lu went to a family dinner.....so many ppl -_-; and trying to talk to me, and always looking at me....ToT.....ummmm and and and and and actually i cant remember lol, sucks.....but i got to meet lu's lil sister then :) 'ka ai' well thats not how chinese spell it -_-; but somehow i can only do japanese sounds for chinese words -_-; anyways........it was so funny, she was always giving lu these evil looks :P ^o^
somehow i cant remember what we did WHY WHY WHY! man i cant believe i am forgetting already
man well it is so dirty in china...i am so scared to touch things lol, that part is really different from usa. ppl just throw there garbage anywhere not caring o_O; so far i havent used a squating toilet yet, even though thats what lu has, but even lu says he doesnt want me to use it........
okay i will go, but just to say, there actually are a few good looking guys here :P muahaha :)
bbye
[/edit]

well tomorrow is the day to go to china, i wanted to update one last time in case i can never update while i am there, because lu said something about how we may not be able to go to the internet cafe's -_-; well i saw hyo today at wcc, i went to sell some books but got some useless money almost. didnt get to cash my check :( need to pay a bill before i go :(
ummm i dont have much money to spend in china but i think that lu will help me a little :) i still owe him 80$ lol sad...need to buy medicine.....sigh sigh, im so tired and have so much to do still havent really packed either! so hungry, lu's mom is calling us, i guess that i have to go now, hope everybody has fun, specially the ppl taking spring/summer classes!
i hope the plane trip is okay because i hate heights -_-; 18hrs is too long sighs sighs, well bbye!
i just saw some good gackt pics....weird...

saw this on kiwi_escapism's site....

Aioria
Baiser
Baroque
Black Love
Blam Honey
Blast
BlooD
Buck-Tick
cali//gari
chronosphere
Dasein
Deadman
Despairs Ray
Dir en grey
Dope HEADZ
Due le Quartz
Duel Jewel
DUMMY CHILDREN
Eldorado
Endorphine
eve of destiny
Gackt
Garden
Gullet
Guniw Tools
hide (solo)
hide w/ Spread Beaver
hide w/ Zilch
HYDE (solo)
Inoran (solo)
Janne Da Arc
Kagerou
Kagrra
Kana
Kawamura Ryuichi (solo)
Kisaki Project
Klaha (solo)
Kozi (solo)
Kuroyume
La Chryma Christi
La'Mule
Laputa
L'Arc~en~Ciel
Lareine
Lucifer Luscious Violenoue
Lucifer/Aucifer
Luna Sea
Madeth Gray'll
Malice Mizer
Merry
Miyavi
Moi Dix Mois
MUCC
Noir Fleurir
Nookicky
New Sodmy
Oblivion Dust
Penicillin
Pierrot
Plastic Tree
Psycho le Cemu
Rapheal
Rice
SADS
Schwarz Stein
Schwein
Sex Machine Guns
Shazna
Shulla
Siam Shade
S.O.A.P.
Spiky
SUGIZO (solo)
Syndrome
Takui
TETSU69
The Mad Capsule Markets
Velvet Eden
Vidoll
Vizell
X Japan
Youjeen
Zeppet Store

added: blast, chronosphere, dummy children, eldorado, gullet, kisaki project, shulla.
Bold the bands you've heard. Add ones you know that aren't on the list.

its a nice list going @_@! definatley know ppl can put more...cant believe shulla and blast were'nt on there o_O;;;;